I got a job finally at a girl’s clothing store. I kind of like it, it’s laid back and it’s a pretty relaxing job. But my sister is fed up with giving me rides back and forth from work and her work and home, etc and she’s about to make me quit. I don’t trust myself driving out on those roads so I have no choice. =[ i only started work last week and I’m already quitting.

She’s going to make me find another job whether i want to or not and i’m back at square one filling out unwanted/unneeded applications for jobs i’ll hate.

Shop therapy: to soothe all that has happened, i’ve been shamelessly spending money. i kinda need to stop though. i’m running low. i need to buy a laptop still and my schoolbooks. i bought a handful of clothes- like…three more band shirts, three ipod chargers [not even for me!], a birthday present for my friend, and an awesome package from my favorite band.

my favorite band, blessed by a broken heart is going to release their new album in august and they have a gift bag you can buy. for 20 bucks you get a limited edition t-shirt, the new CD, an autographed poster, and a chance to eat dinner with the band. that’s not really my thing, i really want the autographs =]

so yeah. prolly going to quit my job and be moneyless, car-less (i’m not buying a car for any reason, i don’t even care. i’m here for college, not to make a living), and job-less

if i can get a job on campus i think that’d solve most of my problems.
so yeah that’s about it. cheers!

i still haven’t found a job/gotten my license yet. i’m not crazy about the whole idea of getting a job atm anyways, but my sister is pushing me to find work or else. and we’ve been driving a little bit but i’m still doing a lot of illegal maneuvers and getting lost. i just don’t get how this whole thing works. but i’m getting better i suppose.

the digs: i’ve completely finished my room now. i desperately need posters but can’t find any of bands i like or anything. my sister donated to my cause but she gave me some crazy sketch to put on the wall. at first it was cool but the more i looked at it….the more i saw penises and vaginas all over it.

i took it down promptly.

took some pictures. including my toy and nike collections:

more in the gallery

we also went to some shitty hip hop show. everyone knows that is not my thing so i tried to enjoy it but it really wasn’t happening. it smelled like smoke and alcohol and the music was kind of the suck. i also had to sit through the hulk which is a movie i really was not looking forward to.

i can’t wait to have my own friends.
i’ve gained like 7lbs since i got here.
that means i’m a whole 77 pounds! jk

#1: health insurance: my health insurance expired last year, so i have to apply for a new one here to retain my residency. it’s important that i’m a resident of michigan so that my tuition for school is cheap. on the internet, they said my quote was $39.45, but when the dude called me, it was $121.61. WTF? what a bunch of lying bastages. so i’m out of health insurance and i have no idea what to do.

#2: driver’s license: back in kansas, if you move there from another state and would like a kansas license, you show them your old license and your social security card. they’d call your state to verify and then they’d have you fill out a paper about where you’re living now and that was it.

in michigan, you have to show six forms of ID. this means your social security card, your old license, a birth certificate, utility bills from a location in michigan, a paycheck, a bank statement, and report cards from a school in michigan.

i don’t have ANY of that shit. wtf? utility bills? i don’t pay bills….a paycheck? i don’t have a job yet…. report cards? i just effing moved here! that is complete bull puckey.

#3: a job: so my sister had lined up a job for me upon my arrival to detroit. i was to work at a hotel that she worked at but not under her department. my sister is the manager of sales and i was working in custodials. some chick told corporate that my sister had hired a family member and that was favoritism- again, we did NOT see each other the whole day.

so they fired me because i was “risky.”

#4: a car: see section two on why i do not have a car.

#5: city driving: i am from kansas. we are a country farm town and we never really drive over 60 mph. my sister put me in the car and put me on the highway thats about 80mph in a car three times the size of my old one. i pretty much got owned on the streets of detroit. my sister was screaming bloody murder and shouting directions all over the place and i became confused and panicky and almost got us killed.

i started sobbing in the car all the way home and didn’t leave my room for the rest of the night.

edit: #6 belongings: my middle sister visits michigan every few months, so every few months i would send an extra suitcase with her full of my clothes so i wouldn’t go over weight limit when i moved.

well guess what?
somehow, none of those suitcases made it here….
i have no winter clothes.
and in michigan, it’s winter most of the time.

i told my parents about all of this and they’re really disappointed that absolutely nothing i have attempted to do here has actually worked out. my mom wants to buy the first ticket home so i can get rid of this mess and take a year off before reapplying to another school.

i honestly don’t know whether to feel relieved or like a failure.

michigan: so i’ve officially moved to michigan now. practically finished furnishing my room. it’s sad, there’s furniture everywhere but nothing on them. it looks really clean, yet really lonely.

i start work on monday, which is only two days after i set foot on this soil, and i start at 8 AM =[. ah well. i actually have to watch a training video after dinner. lame, right?

i don’t know. life here isn’t horrible. i’ve spent all my cash already though and i’ve only been here a little over a day. spent the entire morning/half afternoon at IKEA looking for furniture. i really need posters in this room. i have a nice lamp. and ADD, apparently.

i miss my parents a lot. it’s father’s day and i didn’t celebrate it with my dad for the first time. my mom fell down at the supermarket and almost hurt herself. she’s getting pretty old and i worry about her. i left my 70 year old dad and 56 year old mom in the care of my self-centered sister, but it’s the only thing i could do.

i wish more than anything that i could take care of them, but i need to go to school. i miss my boyfriend. he called five times today but i only picked up once and he’s not around to return my calls. i have a feeling he’s depressed. and that makes me depressed too.

my mom sat in my room all night and cried. i remember her tiny little head peeking over the bar at the airport waving good bye. she told me that david had stayed until my plane was long gone, staring out the window of the airport.

i know i’m loved, but why am i so heartbroken?

So yeah. welcome to version two: pressure the hinges featuring haste the day. haste the day is my lucky charm, i guess, i’ve never made a bad HTD layout.

the leaving song: i’m leaving for detroit on saturday. -le sigh x2- i used to be so excited about leaving- i didn’t have to put up with my parents any more, i finally get some freedom and piece of mind, and some well deserved independence, but as the day of departure approaches, i feel more sad than anything. i’m leaving behind my boyfriend, david, and it’s breaking both of our hearts.

i don’t intend on breaking up per se, we’ll just have to push through these hard times. i’m used to talking to him for hours every day and seeing him at least two or three times a week, but now i’ll talk to him once a week if i’m lucky.

we finished our scrapbook together last night. the thing barely closes. i packed up the belongings he’d left at my house- DVDs, clothes, his monster slippers…. i entrusted him with my precious artwork and toy collection.

it felt like breaking up…even though we weren’t.